I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
