he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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