I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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