Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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