mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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