i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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