I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
