Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
