I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
