btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
