It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
