i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
They have beer where we have blood.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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