i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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