Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
