If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
