Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
