He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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