you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
