she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Randomize
