I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
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