Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
