Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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