It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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