I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
