White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
