you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
