he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
