3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
