Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
