And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
