you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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