Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
