i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Your penis caused this!
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