I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
