DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Two words: nipple clamps
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