She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
