just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
