Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just want nice things and good sex
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
