Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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