It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
