I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
