But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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