babies were throwing up all over the place
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
