I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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