how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
