God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
