If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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