Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
