lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
