I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
