real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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