Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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