the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I want to fling myself into the sun
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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