Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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