I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
