i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
