I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He better not be in your backpack
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
