Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
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