im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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