don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
