Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
