pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
