That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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