It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
