I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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