Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
