Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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