No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
